This year has been a tough one for me.
You see I wasn’t only in transition. I was retrenched from my job. There was a restructuring and a few decisions were made and I saw it coming and knew it was coming and thought I was ready but you’re never really ready for something like that.
I understood the business end of it but from a Bev Perspective it hurt like hell.
I needed to deal with what other people in the organization were saying and how they would relate to me after. I needed to understand my social standing with people I had thought were friends. I needed to maintain a relationship with the two men who had brought me along this journey and entrusted me to do big things for them in the HR space for the past five years. You see to me, the most important thing wasn’t to get away but to walk away with grace and dignity and still respect them because I hold them in the highest esteem. I needed to face my fears about no longer being in that place of comfort that I had been in for the past five years and I needed to do the most difficult thing of all: I NEEDED TO FACE MY EXAMINE SELF AND CONFRONT MY FAILURES.
As a human being you make mistakes. As a leader, you fail. And getting back up is not complete unless you have faced your failures head on and understood how each one came to be. I had long months of self-deprecation and many moons of self love. I needed to completely separate my failures from my identity before my identity became a failure. I needed to go back years to decisions I had made, people I had surrounded myself with and brought into my world, boundaries I had broken, days, weeks and even seasons when I had not given my best. Era’s when I had put self above all and embraced the ego of the season, the position, the tile and even the perks, not knowing that all that would never amount to the core of who I am – That Kenyan Girl Chasing Her Purpose That Had Nothing To Do With That Job Except That The Job Was An Assignment Along Destiny’s Merry Way.
In the past 4 months I have come a long way.
I have forgiven myself.
I have forgiven others (because it really always all about me)
I have let go (so that it stops holding me back)
I have let God (because He is the only one that makes sense)
I have celebrated honor and grace (because without that, the past five years would be a waste of time)
And I sit here today not only confronting my failures, but embracing the lesson they taught me.
Today, take up a piece of paper and a pen, and write down your 5 biggest failures of this season.
Then write down on lesson you learned from each
Just like that, you have managed to turn the carcas of your failures into monuments of lessons learned.
I am Beverly Chahonyo and I celebrate you on this 3rd Day of our #31daysofwoohoo challenge
You are NOT your failures.
You are BEAUTIFUL – EMPOWERED – VISIONARY