Chronicles of a New Bride: Of Chivalry and such…

By August 6, 2014Uncategorized

‘That gown looks rather fetching on you milady.’ Oh why thank you Pilar. I look up at the mirror and yes I do concur with Pilar. This evening will be special, I vow to remember it for the rest of my life. Tonight is coming out party and oh how I have waited for it. All the noblemen will be attending and I wonder how many will come calling the next day. Oh the duels that will be fought in the quest to impress me, the suitors who must outdo themselves not just to win my heart but also gain my father’s approval. It all begins tonight! So I take one last sweeping look at the mirror and I am content with the choice of my gown, high-collared with a decadent arrangement of oriental sequins that is sure to make all the ladies green with envy. Yes this is perfect. Future, here I come.

My phone buzzes on my lap and…..wait, my phone?! Oh snap! Back to present day. I look over and my knight in a polo shirt looks at my questioningly, ‘Are you okay? Did you hear a word I said?’ Ummm… oh yeah the horses we saw back there as we drove past! That’s how I ended up in the 15th century in an impossible corset and a ravishing gown. Now now before you conclude that I should be admitted somewhere you need to hear me out. My fascination with the midcentury times is more than horses and knights and breathtaking gowns, it’s the love and honor and the chivalry that the gentlemen displayed. It’s the code every self-respecting gentleman lived by, titled or not. That’s why I vacation there in my mind sometimes.

I don’t know about you but growing up I had a very colorful imagination, truthfully I still do. But back then I seemed to live best through books and novels because reality was so bland and boring. The boys in reality were way too shallow for me, I mean what’s a text compared to a gentleman sending a footman to your residence with a note inviting you to ride with him at noon. Right? Right? No chance for the dude sending a text. And it’s even worse today with the xaxa xwity generation. #icant. I simply can’t. But I digress.

I discovered why I was so stuck in the fantasy of gentlemen and knights. It was the fact that they genuinely made an effort to pursue a lady. It’s the old fashioned romance and I’m a sucker for that. Every woman would love to be pursued, it’s in our nature, it’s how we are wired. Unfortunately, we are being forced to evolve into something else. We’re being forced to settle for just a guy. Batting of lashes, blushing and being girly were the first to go. So now we eyeball the guy, become suggestive and even daring. ‘If you want it come and get it.’ Yep that lady that deserved being chased is now doing the chasing or at the very least, offering herself up as easy game.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that era was perfect, I mean they used chamber pots and wash basins! Oh no not perfect at all! But it’s the ideals, and love and romance was not as complicated as it is today, where complicated is a status relationship in itself. We have flirtationships (more than a friendship less than a relationship). Too many grey areas and chivalry died of natural causes. But you know what? It’s not all dead. There is still a remnant. (Can I get an amen?)

There is still a breed of men that are actual gentlemen. They don’t ride in stallions or even Ferraris, they may simply walk over to you. They may not wear fancy noble armory or designer suits, they may be in regular jeans and a t-shirt. But there’s nothing regular about this gentleman, he is a knight. He is a knight because he is ready to go against the current. What duel has he fought? He is fighting today’s ideologies and he’s going the old fashioned way, he is wooing you, pursuing you. Against the odds and his male counterparts, he is interested in you as a person, he seeks to win your heart not just your body. Where society tells him he’s a man and it’s in his nature to have multiple women, he says no he has eyes for only one. In a world where women are treated as objects, he sees your true worth, he esteems you and treats you like the queen you are.

So I dare you to refuse to conform or settle for less. Chivalry is not dead. I am a witness because I married a titled man. He is a knight and every single day he lives up to his title. I do believe he’s not the last knight standing, there’s more out there. Camouflaged in everyday clothes working everyday jobs, you could almost miss them but I pray that God opens our eyes.

To the knight in a polo shirt and jeans, I salute you. Keep living by this higher code, keep being who you are. You are a man of honor and if the world does not celebrate you, God celebrates you and this beautiful petal right here celebrates you too.












Yours Truly,

Shiku Itambo

I am Beautiful – Empowered – Visionary

I am @BeautifulPetal





Author Bev

I am Beautiful - Empowered - Visionary

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