I walk among men but am forgotten by humanity. The day I was born, nothing as registered in the stratosphere of the earth except the screams of my mother and the disappointment of my father. It is as if he willed me to die and when that did not happen he silently sentenced me to a life of nothingness – dying a slow death every single day while living a loud existence that no man could explain.
I was not named. Why name the 15th child that you cannot feed when you have no intention of providing or remembering the needs of this hopeless soul? Why name a child born into nothing, an heir of nothing in an era of nothingness when truly there is very little child that this creature will live to see the second decade of its life. Why name a mistake you made when all it does is remind you of the thousand tomorrows you never had because the earth produced all it could produce in a time before you understood or accepted that it could produce anything more than dust and dirt and pain and grief. Why name the yesterday you wish never happened to push it into the history of the tomorrow you know will never happen? Why even ponder the reason for the whys when all the whys in the world will never produce a Zed? That is the ancestry I walk in. I cling to the shadows not to expose my faults and failures to the light of a world devoid of warmth. I stay on the edge of forever possibilities not because I am rejected in the foreverness of the possibilities but because I am not important enough to be acknowledged by those who have the power to deem tomorrow a dream and forever an impossibility. I walk around aimless and without purpose – until.
That word for me gives me hope – UNTIL. According to http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/until it is used to indicate the time when something will happen, become true. Before my UNTIL I did not register on earth as anything more than a hiccup or a blip – at the point of my UNTIL I forgot the prejudice of my forever yesterdays and discovered the purpose in my tomorrow’s forevers.
I am not a mistake.
I am not a failure.
I am not a regret.
I am not an apology.
I AM a statement.
I AM a remark.
I AM, in fact, a remarkable statement.
The universe must stop to acknowledge my greatness and my greatness must continue to command the universe. I am a child of purpose. I hold the seed of greatness. I will discover and fulfill assignment and I will forever be in the hearts and thoughts of the history annals for the forever of all my tomorrow children. I am a legend and I will leave a legacy. My story began in my yesterday of the nothingness of my oblique existence but will end in the greatness of my fruitfulness. The bowels of the earth shook and shuddered when questioned in the eternity of the book of forever because they at first did not recognize the maker of my way and the way my maker made.
I am created in the image of greatness and in the likeness of a creator of creations.
I have a purpose and a destiny and an assignment to fulfill
I will speak to be heard and be silent to be sought.
I am a child of purpose and a joint heir with a king.
I am of He who was and is and is to come therefore where I was and am I must become what He who was decreed and declared.
I am Beautiful – Empowered – Visionary
I am @BeautifulPetal_
[From the testimonies of so many at Communities of Hope who gave me hope in song and dance and smiles and love. KWIZERA is Kirundi for HOPE]