I found myself reflecting on my life today. It’s more than natural that in seasons like these we pull back into ourselves and ask tough questions and try to have the courage to face the answers. Some of what I see I am proud of and simply cannot believe that along life’s journey I have come this far. Other aspects of me I’m not too thrilled about and realize that for the most part it’s easier to tuck them away as distant memories and not face them head on. The trouble with that is that sooner or later you still have to face it and deal with it and the sooner you do that the sooner you move on with your life.
Today I chose to honor those in my life by owning the challenges that I see in how we relate. I’m probably the best with words when I’m sitting at my machine typing away but have not been the best at communicating when I need to, how I need to and why I need to do certain things. Sometimes that hurts the people closest to me. Today I own the hurt I may have caused you by saying simply: I’m Sorry. It doesn’t matter what has transpired in the past, it doesn’t matter who said what and who was right. All that matters is that it happened and it hurt someone I cared for and for that I am truly sorry.
My highs for today / this week are many.
- For the first time in over 18months I drove a stick shift/ manual car. HUGE on my list of things I haven’t done since I broke my leg
- I’m spotting 3 inch heels a lot more these days: another HUGE on my list of things I haven’t done since I broke my leg
- I have an amazing support system backing me and pushing me to do things I would otherwise never have done. HUGE
- I am whole, healthy and happy with who I am and where I am in life: HUGE.
I know that these may seem senseless in the face of the somberness of the moment. But the fact of the matter is that it is the seemingly senseless and mundane things that make up the seemingly trivial joys in life and it is in doing these things and being this person that we can truly appreciate life as a whole. Each in its own way adds a flavor and a scent to life that is so infinitesimal yet so profoundly relevant that without it the entire cookie just wouldn’t taste right.
So as you end your day, hug someone you love, tell them that you care. Hold them a little tighter, tell them that they ROCK! Let go of the anger, it really is never that serious. Honor someone you respect, let them know they’re cherished. Do the things you never do just because they’re too ‘out there’ to do … and above all, know this. You are a #Beautiful Petal and the Creator, who has begun such a great work among you, will not stop in mid-design but will keep perfecting you until the day Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King, returns to redeem the world. (Philipians 1:6)