The Fight In Me

By January 24, 2018Uncategorized


Hello beautiful people. It has been a very long time. And one day I will write about my season of silence in depth. Today I want to address the reason for the silence. You see sometimes, you’ve been fighting so long and so hard that you just stop fighting. You stop putting up your fists and stop protecting yourself. You stop hoping and believing and dreaming and wake up every single day in the midst of the battle field but we don’t show up prepared for the battle. We become complacent and lethargic and just stop. You’re no longer angry, but neither are you excited. You’re no longer sad, but neither are you disappointed. You’re no longer happy, but neither are you hopeful. You’re no longer wishing, and neither are you willing. I don’t know. Maybe some of you won’t relate to this – and that’s ok. But I do realize that there are those who will relate and hopefully this will give you a new lease on life.

You see, (in my very humble opinion), it is very possible that Eve ate of the forbidden fruit because Adam stopped showing up. He was so focused on his assignment that he forgot to carry along his team. Now don’t get me wrong, Eve was completely and solely responsible for taking that forbidden bite – but maybe it is because she felt that she was no longer a part of a team, and therefore she stopped showing up.

Again, in my very humble opinion, it could be that Sarah presented Hagar to Abraham because he stopped showing up. Perhaps they had prayed for days, weeks, months, years, even. But you see between the promise and the fulfillment of the prophesy, there was a sea of decades. Perhaps she saw how he yearned for a son. Perhaps he mentored young boys – the sons of his servants. Perhaps he was so focused on his assignment in protecting and providing that he forgot that the pain he carried was unique to him and only one other person – Sarah his wife. And when he stopped showing up, so did she. She stopped crying with him and began to hide her pain from him. She stopped talking about it and began to look for a solution for it. She stopped carrying it with him and began to blame herself (as we so often do) for the inability to fulfill her womanly assignment.

Enough about the women – we can go on and on – let’s talk about some men (and manly-men they are!).

In my very humble opinion, David stopped showing up. He stopped being a father because while he had seen the example of a father in Jesse, part of that example was his very own father forgetting his existence. And so he stopped showing up when his one son raped his daughter and his other son killed the first. He stopped disciplining because he was still pining for his father’s attention (even as king). He stopped showing up because the only other father figure he ever knew in Saul rejected him too. And so instead of rejecting, he coddled to the extreme and stopped showing up. He stopped showing up to battle and in the heat of the battle, as he sat and surveyed his land, he showed up with the wrong woman in his bed. And so began his downfall.

Let’s talk about Elijah – mighty man of God who with a word could call a drought and with a word cancel it. with a word he could call down fire from heaven and with a sword and a word he could fell hundreds of false prophets. And yet at some point, he stopped showing up. He stopped because he was tired. He stopped because he was scared. He stopped because he was alone. He stopped because it had been too long.

Then let’s talk about Simon the man versus Peter the rock and the in-between when he just stopped. He stopped because he could not and would not believe that Jesus would just give up. This was not how the Messiah was to come and save the chosen people of God. He stopped because he saw what looked like defeat when his master was taken away. He stopped because he took his eye off the master and turned his mind towards the storm and in the thick of the storm he began to sink and in the midst of the sinking he denied his Lord. He stopped showing up and just wept.

The thing about not showing up, just stopping – the thing about it is this – we stop because we get tired. We stop because between the spoken word and the word revealed the journey gets too long. We stop showing up because we take our eye off the promise and begin to listen to the words in the World. We stop because it doesn’t seem to be happening. We stop because logic takes over and faith takes a back seat and when that happens, we no longer see the need to fight. We no longer see the need to believe. We no longer have the urge to receive. We want it, but we don’t have what it takes in us to fight for it.

So this is the thing – the reason why we don’t have it in us to fight is the very reason why we have what it takes to succeed – but only when we completely give ourselves over to the giver of the dream, the speaker of the promise. We DON’T have it in us – but He never asked us to do it. All he asked us to do was to believe in the promise and believe in the promiser.

So today I’m speaking to someone who stopped showing up … It’s ok that you were down and it might seem like you were out but He’s got you so just do one little thing today. Begin to speak the promise out loud.

  1. He will never leave me nor forsake me.
  2. If He said it, He will do it.
  3. He is not a man that He should lie.
  4. And my latter SHALL be greater than my past.

It’s ok that you stopped – not all I ask is that you open your heart to believe that it shall come to pass.

Happy New Year Beautiful Petals

You are Beautiful – Empowered – Visionary



Author Bev

I am Beautiful - Empowered - Visionary

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