Chronicles of a New Bride: Courtroom of Life

By July 30, 2014Uncategorized

So today I happened to notice something that I think is a trend only I never paid attention before. At the supermarket there was this beautiful pregnant lady ahead of me. She was paying for her shopping and because she was those strikingly gorgeous women, she got a couple of stares from the guys. I was very amused really until I noticed I couple of ladies staring at her but probably not for the same reason the guys were. They pointedly stared at her left hand in search of her absent wedding band and I could tell the pleasure they seemed to take in that as they later looked at the guys as if to tell them “she aint as good as y’all think”.

I was a bit angry at them and I put myself in her position and thought you don’t even know her or her story but you’re judging? Then I figured aint that the world we live in? We are judged and condemned without ever having a say about it. It’s like I didn’t even know I was on trial but lo and behold the sentence has been passed? Do I get a defense? An appeal? Anything? Of course not, this is the courtroom of life. Deal with it.

I am, like many of my friends, fond of using the phrase “don’t judge me” right before or after I say or do something that I think may ‘warrant’ judgment. As I transition to my new roles as a wife, I find a lot of pre-packed judgment, like pick one on your way in, never mind am coming from some more pre-packed judgment in the dating world. From what kind of a guy are you going out with? Where does he take you? To how was your wedding? Where will you live? Clearly someone is determined to put me in a certain box and I better live up to (or should I say down to) the expectation of the box assigned to me. “Ummmm, excuse me… I don’t think I fit here…see you don’t know the whole story I ….”. Honey no one cares about the real story, just sit in your box and function in it.

Obviously we all face some judgment in one area or another, and we also give it out in equal measure. Are we so insecure in ourselves that we feel the need to validate ourselves by judging others? See here’s the thing, in the courtroom of life neither you nor I have the mandate to become judge or jury. It is said you can’t judge a man twice right? Well long time ago God the Father, the ultimate judge, passed the judgment on mankind and it wasn’t good. However, He remedied the situation by sending in a replacement to take the sentence and in so doing freeing the condemned mankind. So in essence, as you elect yourself judge over me you are coming in a couple of years late you see.

This truth delivers me from the fear of opinions of men, the box I was put in and the ideologies of the ‘opinion-shapers’ today. So the next time someone looks at me like they want to judge me I won’t say “don’t judge me”. In fact I’m going to encourage them, “please humor me, no I insist, go ahead judge me. I’m very curious to hear”. You see the opinions of people regarding you do not determine your identity, your destiny or your purpose. It is just mere entertainment. The one whose opinion counts in your life thinks the world of you so you have nothing to be worried about. And in courtroom of life, am glad to say I know the judge. We are related so you can see how this trial will go.

But there’s yet another twist to this thought. See it’s one thing to be in a courtroom but with a ready defense should you be given the opportunity. But I know of a woman who didn’t even have a defense because she knew she was guilty. It was so bad because it was a public trial and she looked like the condemned and judging by her attire, she was the evidence too. The silver lining in her story is that the accusers brought her to a good judge who chose to be her defense attorney as well. At the end of her trial, none of the prosecutors had a word to say in fact they left the courtroom head bowed in shame. And the woman, her judge-turned-attorney told her to go and sin no more.

That’s it? Are you kidding me? But she deserved what was coming…. Yeah we all have said that about someone we know. But imagine what the judge told her, I do not condemn you, go and sin no more. Can I do that? Can I give people a second chance? Can I not pass judgment even when it seems deserved? Instead can I show mercy in the courtroom of life?

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Yours Truly,

Shiku Itambo

I am Beautiful – Empowered – Visionary

I am @BeautifulPetal

 

 

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Author Bev

I am Beautiful - Empowered - Visionary

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