Dear Younger Me,
As I promised you the last time, I will share some truths I have learnt over time especially about dating and stuff. Mostly the stuff. But before I delve deeper I need you to have at the back of your mind the words to the song I told you about last time. Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope, you going to do great things I already know. God has His hand on you so don’t live life in fear, forgive and forget but don’t forget why you’re here. Take your time and pray, these are the words I would say. There’s a reason I insist on this, it will all make sense in time. So we already dealt with the self-image issues, you know you are beautiful just as you are. Now now, don’t go about feeling like you are God’s gift to mankind, literally! Find the balance between a healthy self-esteem and humility. It doesn’t pay to be a meanie, be nice to those you consider ‘non-starters’, people have a way of surprising you. And besides, aren’t you glad that God and people gave you a chance when you didn’t look the part? Then there’s that thrill of the bad boy. Child, bad boys are overrated believe you me. The novelty wears out soon enough and you find yourself wondering what in the world you found attractive in that person. Subsequently, you cannot hide behind the bad girl façade and expect any decent person to head your way. I told you was going deep?! Yep, you need to look at yourself through God’s eyes, you are a queen and I pray God opens your eyes to see that the bad boys hovering about are up to no good and as flattering as it may be to have a horde of them on a leash, it’s not a sustainable arrangement and most importantly its beneath you. What I am saying now probably sounds like tales and myths of an old-fashioned deluded mid-century maid, but trust me child, this mid-century maid knows a thing or two. Media will always feed you lies sprinkled with bits of truth. Movies and series may seem more relevant than those ancient pages of the bible but trust me it’s nothing but cotton candy…. No substance, just fleeting sweetness. Truth is, God knows you and He alone can guide you through the mine infested field of relationships and make sure you arrive to your destiny alive and hopefully not maimed. The good news is that your mate is out there, the interesting news is that you need to stay in God and stay spiritual for you to meet him. You see, God cares about His own and He is not about to bring His best to a train wreck, same way He wouldn’t bring you a train wreck. See it goes both ways, spiritual things are spiritually discerned. That means you need to stay in God and trust Him exclusively, not run your own circus on the side and expect Him to bless it. Now don’t get me wrong, God knows about the ‘list’ you wrote. You know, the one about all you want in a mate, the one where you concentrated more on his physical, financial and emotional status then quickly added two points at the bottom about his spiritual status. Lol! Don’t worry God’s gatchu! He took all that under advisement.
Ultimately, His plan is to give you perfection, someone perfect for just you. So what to do between now and then? Live life God’s way, trust Him exclusively and don’t be afraid to make a mess. I’ll give you a sneak peak. Years from now you will walk down the aisle to a song you probably know but it will make more sense then. It’s called, God bless this broken road that led me straight to you. Yeah you know the lyrics, and trust me they will ring so true as you walk towards your perfection, the one God designed for you. Then it will all make sense, why it couldn’t work with anyone else and you will thank God that He took your list and rewrote it because you know what you were asking for was a monster. So dear younger me, you can breathe a sigh of relief that over and above everything happening in your life, you can be confident in this one thing: God has His hand on you! Invest in worthwhile relationships, and even though that guy is not your ‘type’, treat him well…he is someone else’s dream come true. Plus he could be the friend to the one you consider your ‘type’. At the very least, he could be a good friend nothing more. You follow? Very well. Until then my younger me, Live, love and laugh, stay out of trouble or at least attempt to try. You will do well I know you will.
Yours Truly, Shiku Itambo I am Beautiful – Empowered – Visionary I am @BeautifulPetal