Lover of Me, Changing Me

By September 14, 2012Uncategorized

I met up with a friend the other day. Haven’t seen her in a couple of years and have had no contact with her. She popped in for a visit and we had a grand time catching up. As with every relationship in my life, I have learnt to assess and look inwards in order to know where to place it. It’s just something I do. Sometimes we spend so much time and energy on the wrong relationships that when the right ones come along we don’t have room enough. Either we’re too drained emotionally or too tired physically, or just not perceptive intellectually to invest in them.

As the evening wore on, she asked me a seemingly innocent and straight-forward enough question that I had the hardest time answering, … until I didn’t. She asked me “What’s Changed?” She said she couldn’t put a finger on it but something had changed in me and she wanted to know what it was.

I have a favorite Series that I have followed for years. It’s a Nigerian series (surprise, surprise). One of my favorite characters in the show is a photographer. I like his character, it endears me to the man. this despite the fact that I don’t really know the man – don’t know his real name and know absolutely nothing about him. It turns out a friend of mine knows this dude. And not only knows this dude, knows that I love his character and how much I love the show. So he calls me up and tells me that he’s with this dude and puts me on the phone with him. I have No Words to describe how absolutely ecstatic I was. I blushed like a schoolgirl (actually even now I still blush easily); I wouldn’t stop smiling; I excitedly told anyone who would listen and who knew of my long-standing love affair with this show hence may know of the dude. I WAS DIFFERENT, SOMETHING HAD CHANGED. I had had an encounter with something along my path and it had changed me.

When I look back at that question and then over the past few seasons, I am finally able to say what changed. I not only changed how I saw things and how I perceived life, but in addition I allowed myself to be changed by a choice encounter. I am changed by the God of Isaac, Abraham, Jacob, David, Mary, Deborah, Ruth, Sarah, and Beverly. My encounter with Him has softened my insides and made me all soft, gooey and mushy. I am changed not only by who He is to me but also by what He’s done for me. I am changed by the mere sound of His name – it does something to me. It makes me smile, gives me cause to giggle, makes me all warm and fuzzy. He is the lover of my soul, whispering sweetness into my day and causing me to excitedly hold my breath at the anticipation of Him. He is my bright and morning star making me smile as I bask in the goodness of Him and soak in His presence as I begin my day. He is my comforter and friend, listening intently as I animatedly tell him about my adventures at the end of a long day. He is my all in all. He is my constant companion, whispering into my ear while I drive and jam to my afro-fusion beats, telling me to turn left or advising me which route to avoid because of the traffic and the time of day. He is my confidant to whom I run and whisper my deepest most naked thoughts. He instills purpose in me and boosts my confidence by trusting me more and telling me daily how much He loves me and how beautiful I am.

So – What changed, not Him, but me in Him. I allowed my encounter with Him to soften me up and I developed the character of Christ and everyday I walk this walk as best as I can in Him, through Him and for Him. Striving everyday to be better today than I was yesterday. I want Him to be proud of me. I want Him to smile at my anitcs and laugh at my jokes. I want to delve more intimately into Him and have Him live more actively in me. He is the lover of my soul and I changed because He lives in me. Loving Him changed me and made me love more.

To everyone who has ever wondered if God is real or how you would know if you are walking right, yes He is and you will know because you will change. To anyone who has known me over the years who asks how I can be so sold out for this Jesus, I am because He is an active part of my life and I can because He changed me.

Today I pause to celebrate my Jesus: You are the Lilly of my valley, Your are my bright and morning star, You are my fairest of ten thousand, You are my Lover of me and loving you has changed me.

XOXO – From: A Girl-About-Town

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Author Bev

I am Beautiful - Empowered - Visionary

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