What on earth was that old coot up to this time? He was always up to something and this time was not going to be different. She was not having it this time. Chasing after his dreams on a dream, a prayer and a camel. She had come to terms with certain things in her life. Her husband must either be the happiest fool or the most reckless gambler on the face of this earth. OR BOTH … who knew? Over the decades she had come to love and respect him as the priest in this homestead. The entire clan thought he was awesome and all but worshiped the ground he walked on, but she was sure he had gambled one too many times and that they had made off like bandits and that this late in life, all they needed to do was to live off the fat of the land that God had blessed them with. Sometimes she wasn’t even sure he heard from God, but two things were for sure – God loved this man and she loved this man.
As she lovingly prepared the lamb stew for his evening meal, her mind began to drift and visit the yesteryears As large as their homestead and responsibilities grew, the one thing she had never delegated was her husband. She heard tales of wives who got tired of their demanding husbands and allowed second wives, or concubines, or ordered their female servants and hand maidens to take over ertain duties – not so for her. She loved taking care of Abram; this man who great and wealthy men traveled for months to sit and share a meal with; this man whose name was known across the land. It hadn’t always been so.
When she first saw him, he was a skinny little thing, full of energy and stories of the lands he would one day visit and the nations he would conquer in those lands. She would hear him talking animatedly and steal many a hidden glance as she walked down to the well in the early mornings. He never paid her any attention. She knew that the ties were deep and there were whispered conversations she had walked in on or overheard by mistake of her being betrothed to him – but none of that was ever confirmed – not until she turned 13. Then her father took her aside and sat her down and told her that by the next festival of the harvest, she would be married to him. He wasn’t that much older than she was and by that time he had been gone from the clan for a full two years on his rites of passage. Papa told her that he would soon return and that there was much to do before then but everything had been arranged.
A flurry of activity from one of the nearby tents brought Sarai back to reality but it soon died down and she drifted back on the wings of her memories just as the cool evening breeze was drifting across the plains. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him as her husband. She had been covered and wrapped in her wedding gab so long that she felt like if someone didn’t release her soon, she would swoon. And swoon she did, only not for the reasons she had thought – but because when he did unveil her and release her to breathe the fresh air, her heart skipped a beat. He had grown so tall in the two harvests since he had been gone. And had filled out as well. She had never noticed the color of his eyes – a deep fiery hazel – or the twinkle in them as he teased her to put her mind at ease. She held her breath a moment too long. Between the heat, the noise, the dance, the celebration and the anticipation, she had not eaten in two days – all this was too much for her body to take and she swooned right into his arms – and he caught her – her husband caught her and smiled.
Even today, Abram still teased her about that day so long ago. The excitement of the wedding and novelty of married life soon wore off and she settled into a comfortable routine. He never pressed her for anything and always treated her like a queen – his queen. He was gentle in all ways with her – but every once in a while she would catch a glimpse of the other side of him – when dealing with a servant who had stolen or a bandit who had been caught. The exciting years soon turned into the adventure years – she liked those less as he was always preoccupied. He never failed to stop and give her a smile or squeeze her hand or lift it to his lips and give her a loving kiss, but he was preoccupied with establishing himself for his sake and for her sake and for the sake of their children.
There, she had thought it – something she hadn’t dared to think in a long time. Her tears had long since dried up over this one thing. The fact of the matter was that if she allowed herself to dwell on it long enough it would consume her and she dare not go back to those bad years. Those years when all she thought about was her inability as a woman to do what every woman was created to do. Her inadequacy as the mate to this powerful and anointed man. He had never judged her or pointed a finger and the one time she had thought about giving him a solution in Hagar, she almost lost him. Not because he wanted Hagar as a wife, but because Hagar conceived so easily, something inside Sarai’s heart literally broke and she went into a deep depression. She stopped eating, stopped speaking with him, stopped allowing him to be with her in any intimate way whatsoever, she had given up. But he wouldn’t. He sat by her side day by day – as the days turned into months and the months into years. It took a long time, but he lovingly nurtured her back from that deep dark place, and back to him – where his love was waiting to help heal her wounds.
And now, he was up to something again. She couldn’t see who he was speaking of / to but could tell that these strangers were not from these parts. She laughed to herself as she heard the words exchanged and sensed the mounting excitement in the voice of her love, Abram. She laughed softly to herself as she imagined the months of conversations that would ensue while she tried to talk him off this ledge just as she had tried so many other times. She knew she never completely managed to turn his heart – he always believed in the word that had been spoken – the words exchanged between him and God. But she knew better – if she was to stay sane, she couldn’t join him on that ledge he called faith – one of them had to stay grounded. Her laughter grew to deep mirth – she laughed at all the times she had tried and failed. She laughed at all the women who had laughed at her. She laughed at the memory of all those who had cried with her. For the first time in a long time, she laughed from deep within her belly. She was finally at a place of peace and rest – so she laughed at the old coot she called her husband and his new found faith at the words of strangers who knew nothing about her. She laughed for a long time, will tears were streaming down her face. She laughed … until she wasn’t laughing anymore – it was nine months later, the pregnancy had been rough and the birthing season was here – as she sat on the birthing stool, the midwife yelling orders to her, she wasn’t laughing anymore – she was still in shock at the miracle happening in real time in her life. This child was here and as much joy as she felt, she also felt a sense of anxiety – would she be able to do it?
Her name had been changed from Sarai to Sarah and in her loins she carried a great man, a great nation, the harvest of a promise sown and the seed of generations to come. She laughs still – because her name has been changed by the God who sees; the one who knew this intended end, before she even begun. Her name is Sarah – the princess, the lady. And she was about to honor her king.
XOXO – From: A-Girl-About-Town